stinky pinky

I don't think I've ever quite understood the joys of being teased. Maybe it's because I'm a little sensitive, or possibly beucase I never did much teasing myself. Thankfully there is no limit to the zaney "teasy" names Carrie's delightful and creative mind comes up with for me. Some of my favorites have been scritches and yanks, white cholocate and now...just today she came up with stinky pinky (while driving back from the doctor's office to get my eye infection/pink eye looked) I've come to learn this means I'm loved---but seriously folks, how the hell does she come up with this shit!? LOL

Philly Trans Health Conference 2008

It seems so early to be talking about this already....but The Philly Trans Health Conference has been moved to Memorial Day Weekend (May) in 2008. I'm pretty excited about this change...so many regional conferences seem to all happen at the same time. The site is up for 2008 at http://www.trans-health.org/

I registered online today and a coworker (Laura Sorenson) and I submitted a workshop proposal--a skill building session on advocacy in medical settings for people of size. Hoping it gets accepted although we'll be going no matter what.

Our friends Patrick and Mindy also invited us to come early or stay late and spend sometime on the East Coast. Their daughter might also be in the area visiting. I'm pretty excited. Even though they have been out of the state now for a year and a half I still feel pretty close to them...and look forward to keeping our friendship going. They are just wonderful people!!

US Figure Skating Championships...file under GAY

I know some of you may think there are some more pressing news articles I could be sharing...BUT....I just got finished watching one of my FAVORITE (and okay..only) sports events....*drumroll* please...The US National Figure Staking Championships. I was so excited that Mirai won...even though she can't yet compete at Worlds....studpid rules!

ST. PAUL, Minn. (AP) — Figure skating finally has its budding star.
Mirai Nagasu delighted the crowd — and herself — with a refreshing and entertaining show at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships on Saturday night. Oh yeah, the 14-year-old became the second-youngest woman to win the title, too.
The other mighty mite? Tara Lipinski, and she wound up doing all right for herself.
When her scores flashed, Nagasu looked at the screen with interest. When she heard she'd won, she said, "What?" then clapped her hands to her face, a big grin breaking across her face.
Nagasu is too young to go to the world championships; skaters now must be 15 by the previous July 1, and she doesn't even turn 15 until April. Rachael Flatt, who finished second, also is too young. Ashley Wagner was third.

The sturdy skirt for men :)

The Local, Sweden Sturdy skirt a hit with Swedish workmen
Published: 17 Jan 08 18:38 CET
[PHOTO: <http://www.thelocal.se/articleImages/9689.jpg> ]

Mechanics, carpenters and plumbers who have tough physical jobs needstrong, functional clothing. But that doesn't mean they have to wearboring, old-fashioned overalls that their grandfathers might haveworn. A kilt for professional men recently introduced in Swedenfeatures roomy pockets needed to carry necessary tools and allows theworker to make a striking fashion statement at the same time

This men's skirt in heavyweight cotton has other advantages. It isundoubtedly refreshing – or at least mildly alarming – to feel acooling breeze running up your legs during a long, sweaty dayhammering in plasterboard or installing a new floor.

"We initially launched the kilt as a sort of experiment. We thoughtonly a small number of daring men would wear it. But it proved to besurprisingly popular," says Susanne Kristianson of Blåkläder, thecompany from Svenljunga, western Sweden, behind the unconventionalwork wear.
The trendy kilt has attracted a following among self-confident youngSwedish men who are not afraid to challenge conventional genderstereotypes - although, as any Scotsman would tell you, there wasnever anything girlie about wearing a kilt.

The unconventional garment is especially popular among carpenters: itfeatures two reinforced nail pockets, a loop for carrying a hammer anda knife holder.

One of Sweden's largest manufacturers of heavy-duty and protectiveclothing for men, Blåkläder sells its new workingman's kiltnationwide; it is also listed as a regular item in its productcatalogue. The garment was lauded as "Fashion Product of the Year" inlate October 2007 by TEKO, the Swedish Textile and ClothingAssociation.

Zoo fun!

Went to the Detroit Zoo today with Carrie and Jay. My parents got us a membership for Christmas. I've always thought Zoos were depressing, but then we went about a year an a half ago on a work outing--and it was pretty, and relaxing, and fun (yes, I said fun. lol. we all know how sparingly I use that word) Anyway...today we saw a red panda and the arctic ring of life display and the butterfly/aviary and penguin areas!

Smokefree abill passes in Michigan House!!

LANSING, Mich. (AP) -- After a decade-long push, health advocates eked out a victory Wednesday when the state House voted to ban smoking in Michigan bars, restaurants and many other workplaces.
The win may be short-lived, however, unless the Senate can be persuaded to consider the

legislation.
"We consider this an important first step in our fight, but we will continue to advocate for all workers to be protected from secondhand smoke," said Judy Stewart of the Campaign for Smokefree Air. (Rest of Free Press Article)

food orgasm

One of my co-workers brought in Trader Joe's Candy Cane Joe-Joe's. I am not an Oreo fan. I am not a store-bought cookie fan in general, but Oreos, with their grainy, lardy insides, are particularly repellent.

However, I am a sucker for a peppermint and chocolate combo AND for limited edition or holiday treats. While the Joe-Joe's look like Oreos, they surpass them in yuminess---to the nth degree!!!!!!!!!! The chocolate cookie was Oreo-level quality, but what really shines is the pepperminty inside. The filling is sweet, light, and vanilla-y--not lardy at all. The BEST part is the candy cane crush

The Candy Cane Joe-Joe's cost $2.50-2.99 at Trader Joe's. I would definitely buy them again and for all of my family and friends. YUM!

World AIDS Day

Maureen and I at work helped organize a display of some of the Memorial AIDS Quilt panels for World AIDS Day. Tonight was the opening reception. The panels will be up through Friday December 7th.

I forgot my gender!

Another fabulous comic by Jay Sennett. I particularly like this one in the context of all the great conversations we've been having with the Gender Non Conformists group (Meeting at Affirmations on the 1st and 3rd Mondays of the month from 7-9pm: Next meeting December 3rd).

One of the comments posted on his site about the comic really sum up my thoughts as well:

"this is one of your best. it really drives deep to the heart of the matter on a few different levels. i don’t know anyone, besides you, me, and a few assorted other trans people, who would actually admit to such a controversial idea - so much so, that if someone were to actually say such a thing, they would be assumed insane, or worse. it goes beyond the hateful comments i see, which accuse us of being “confused”.

for the vast majority of people, their gender is such a large part of who they feel themselves to be (for many trans people as well, though others would dispute their “feelings”) that to “forget” it, is unthinkable. this simple statement, really says so much.

i know more than a few radical feminists who might take issue with it. they might argue that they could *never* forget their gender because of the world in which we live. and i’d agree, in the context of what we have to deal with in a day-to-day context. and i suppose that makes this piece all the more transgressive. keep up the great work!"

More at www.JaySennett.com

WCBN "Closets are for clothes" radio interview

Soooo, Gabe invited me to be on Closets are for Clothes (WCBN in Ann Arbor) and talk about TDOR and The Midwest Trans Youth Conference. It was pretty fun, although I was nervous since I never did a "real" radio interview. You can listen to it on podcast if you have itunes. If you go to http://www.wcbn.org/ and scroll down to the list of "WCBN Public Affairs Program" and click Closets Are For Clothes it will take you to the list of shows. It is the one that aired November 21st 2007. I'm near the end of the show, probably about 30-35 minutes into the show. :) Although nobody likes the sound of their own voice.....It was totally fun, and I'm glad that Gabe invited me!!!!

Silly Picture Update (1.5 years on T)

Carrie is gone tonight for her second sleep study. I've been cleaning listening to Rent and taking silly pics of myself. LOL. Just another night in the life of Knoll.

Weekend Round up

Carrie and I have been working far too many 12 hours shifts so sleeping in on Saturday was very very nice.



Had a therapy appointment. I've been back in therapy again. Actually I've been going for a while now, but it's not stuff I talk about much on here. I suppose it helps to have a kink aware therapist. I also like that he's been part of queer history in the detroit area and manages his practice and activist work quite well. I can only really afford to see him twice a month, although I'm going about 3 times a month. It mostly just life transition stuff, partner of a person with a disability stuff, and the work/employee grievance which has put a huge strain on me emotionally.



Went to dinner with Gene, Jenn, and David. We waited a very very long time for very very good Italian food. :)



I ended up doing bar outreach later Saturday night at R & R Saloon in Detroit. It was very interesting. All of the employees were very very nice and I was happy to leave tons of safer sex supplies. It was a bit odd since I had heard things about a part of the bar called "The Pit" that wasn't open to trans people or women. That part was a little iffy...knowing the history behind all of it.

Sunday was also relaxing....i got some hot chocolate and went for a walk at a park/garden. I need more time for myself like that. *sigh*

Links and Coverage

I also wanted to post some news stories and links related to Ian's story/life. Many of these news articles are less than ideal with the portrayl of his identity/life/story.

This is an article in the Holland Sentinal Paper

This is an article and some news clips from a local Grand Rapids (MI)

Here is a link to the Trans Youth Family Advocates website. Here there is more info on the Project Ian National Campaign.

A celebration of Ian's Life

I attended the vigil yesterday in celebration of Ian's life. I wanted to post some of what I ended up reading. I was honored that some folks asked me to participate. It was beautiful to see so many community members, family, students, Friends there for Ian, his family and themselves.

I wanted to share part of what I read at the vigil:

My grandmother used to tell me a story about the stars. She told me that they are not stars but openings in the sky where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.

Just as the stars may represent an opening for Ian to shine down on us….

I ask that we be openings here on earth be openings, a crack of light…a crack through which love, truth, compassion, joy, and peace can flow, spread and flourish.

How can be a crack of light in so much darkness? We begin by celebrating difference. We stop hiding difference where we don’t have to have to look at it or think about it. We stop “tolerating” or “accepting” difference, as if we’re so much better for not being different. Instead we celebrate difference. Exactly how we celebrate difference is for each of us to discover.

Ian and many of us in the trans community have gifts to offer like our deep sense of personal integrity and our ability to be honest about who we are. We help the communities of which we are a part of by emphasizing love, self-respect, and human dignity as core values. When we are free to be our true and authentic selves, we can’t help but remind others to be the best possible people they can be.

As we draw our celebration to a close tonight I ask that you think about all the words that were spoken here tonight. Now..I ask that you think of all the words living in your hearts and minds. All the words you have not yet spoken…. When you leave here begin to light up the world with your words of knowledge and compassion in Ian’s honor.

Speak for your family, your friends, your allies,

Speak for Ian

Speak for yourself.

Take time each day to celebrate Transgender people as gifts
And Remember: We are all gifts

Take time each day to celebrate Transgender people as beautiful
And Remember: We are all beautiful.

State News LGBT & Tobacco Article

So there was a really poorly written article on the front page of the State News today on our 2 year community tobacco survey. Unfortunately the article was framed in this "LGBT people use tobacco and is that a stereotype? or true" Sheeze. Of course the article didn't present any research from journal articles or even include anything about targeted marketing by the tobacco industry. I sometimes forget that folks in some oppressed communities are fearful of discussing any community "issues" or "Problems" or anything that might be perceived in a negative way. I also have seen this in some of the DV/SA work I have been a part of.

BTL Breast Cancer Article

Here is a link to an article on Breast Cancer in Between the Lines. They asked me for some info. It's not horrible, of course, except for the "transgendered" part. *sigh*

Transgendered men who have undergone a mastectomy still have breast tissue, warned Knoll Larkin, health and human services coordinator for Affirmations in Ferndale. "They will still need to do breast self exams."

After three months, transgender women who take estrogen should start doing breast self-exams, he said.

People who visit the Affirmations community center can pick up leaflets and brochures with tips about living well.

"There are certain health risks lesbian and bi women have that may put them at increased risk for breast cancer," he said. "They are less likely to bear children or will often have children later in life. This puts you at higher risk. Using alcohol or smoking can put you at a higher risk. Being overweight can also be a factor."

Employee Grievance

So, I am formally filling a grievance at work to advocate for my own (trans) health benefits. This is the first time that anyone at my employee has ever filled a formal grievance with the Board of Directors.

I am really struggling with who to appoint as my representative. I have a few people in mind. Unfortunately folks have told me that some of the people that I want to represent me might be too biased (other co-workers, my partner.....). It's going to be difficult to make a decision by this Friday.

The process goes like this:
-I send letter and info on my case to board president
-Board president appoints chair of committee reviewing case.
-Another person from the executive committee is appointed to case.
-I select my representative
-Committee meets and gets input from me and others on case
-Committee has 30 days to make a ruling or recommendation and share with board president or CEO.

I'm seeking out other who may have gone through a similar process for input, advice, or feedback.

August 2007

Boat Rides......................................

Carrie was cold and pouty...............

warm and sunny days...............................


By the Big Red Lighthouse in Holland Michigan.......................

Crunchy and Carrie and I at the beach in Luddington Michigan.....

Carrie's Pink and Fancy Birthday Cake :)

Aids Walk

I've decided to walk this year in AIDS Walk Detroit with Affirmations Team 203. I'm asking friends, family, and colleagues to sponsor me by making a donation. Every little bit helps and it's quick and easy to do online. Every dollar we raise for Team Affirmations comes right back to the center to support the work we do around HIV/AIDS.

Steppin' Out's AIDS Walk (Detroit) goal is to help agencies like Affirmations help people living with HIV and AIDS by assisting the agencies where state, federal or other funding does not. Without your help, Affirmations' HIV/AIDS programs may cease to exist! Thanks...and remember HIV/AIDS is EVERYBODY's business.

Please visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support AIDS Walk Detroit. Thanks for your support.

Thanks

News

I heard back from the folks at UM CGS. It's been about 5 months and after calling Blue Cross myself a few times and getting frustrated, I thought I would check back in. It took them a while to get back to me....but the message was slightly encouraging...First, their director is following up directly with BCBS....and they mentioned that another person who has the same insurance and submitted the prior approval at the same time as me just heard back and they approved them. I am seriously over analyzing this news. Does this mean mine has been denied? Does this mean my case has a better chance of being covered???? I'm worried and obsessing...again. I keep thinking as soon as I hear...if the answer is yes...and they approve it....I could have surgery around my birthday. Lucky 28.