Thursday, June 22, 2006

Two Month Updates

The 19th was my 2 months on T day. Today was another lazy day full of cleaning, naps, and obsessive comupter checking. I took some pics today after i woke up from a nap. Thought these might be fun and random. I get tired of the same old transition pics. .....

Things I've noticed:

My leg hair is finally growing and pretty fast. yay..I finally have leg hair.

Arm pit hair is getting longer and growing a bit more on the sides.

I was getting a lot of facial hair on the side of my lip. I decided to shave for a while until i have more facial hair. Having two or three big patches just looked silly on me.

I notice that my face looks's still hard to describe, fat redistribution.

I think the most interesting thing that is going on right now is my voice. It is all over the place!!! up and down and cracking in just about every conversation I have. I think I am still trying to speak at a range? higher than I can, as my vocal chords change. It's amazing to hear and listen to myself...I swear I sound different everyday.

I continue to be crabby, emotional, and lethargic on Wednesdays...the day before shot day. I imagine this would be a whole lot worse if I was injecting ever 2 weeks instead of once a week. I don't really like doing it every week, but, for me, right now, I know it's better.

I think that's it for now....back to playing with the animals and watching RENT with Trista...

Monday, June 19, 2006

Random meme thingy....

My name is
I am
activist, artsy, BDSM, bbw admirer, bear lover, bottom, boy, chubby, chubby chaser, complex, creative, cuddly, drama queen, effeminate, FTM, FTX, fat, femme-fucking, femmeboy, fetishist, freak, geek, gender bender, gender variant, genderfuck, genderqueer, glittery, indecisive, kinky, LGBTQ, mama's boy, misunderstood, nerd, none of the above, odd, omnisexual, pansexual, polyamorous, polysexual, puppy, queer, quirky, right-brained, sex positive, starfucker, submissive, survivor, sweet, tranny, trannyboy, trannyfag, trans, transfeminist, transgender, transman, transtheorist, understanding, unique
Who are you?

Friday, June 16, 2006

Bleeding...or not

I'm getting close to being on T for two months. I have been feeling strange....I can't really explain the feelings. My emotions are up and body is too hot or too cold...i'm really tired or bouncing off the walls. I feel more all over the place now than I did when I first started.

I wonder if this time it has to do with the fact that I got my shot yesterday and was supposed to start my period yesterday. I've only bleed one since starting T. I've had some cramping though. I think I am done bleeding. I hope so. I was dreading it...and it feels like I am finally feeling at home in my body. I feel happy to celebrate something that I feel like was not right for my body--ending.

I used to try to not associate bleeding with a pretend to myself that this happened to my body, but not becuase I was a particular gender..or..had a certain type of body. It was just something that happened to me and only me. I feel like I lived a lot of my life that knoll and as knoll as the execption to the rule.

I think some of these issues play into some of my anxieties about actaully passing....

more to come on that and a 2 moth update soon.

Much love..


Sunday, June 11, 2006

A Poem....

"I didn't start at F, I'm not ending at M.
It may be a continuum but definitions take over if you give in to em'.
Androgyny oughta be both/and not neither/nor, the vacuum natures abhors
& culture won't accomodate, & govternment forms won't allow you to approximate.
I check the box F & I feel like a liar, check M for Male and I feel like a fraud,
in a world that pretends such things are commanded by God.
Maybe someday they'll firgure out that the boxes are too small.
In the meantime the only choice is, checking them all. "

From Not Starting at F, Not Ending At M
by Skian McGuire

Sunday, June 04, 2006

voice changes

I guess my voice changes are becoming more evident.

Tonight at work a youth at work after hearing my voice commented.."whoa, your voice sounds different...sounds like you dropped a nut or something"


Friday, June 02, 2006

Month 1 Update

I've been taking T for 6 weeks, but am just going to make this my month 1 update. I hope to update this monthy for those overseas during my transition (Monique) and anyone who just can't get enough of my "look!!! I grew another hair" stories. I decided to start a seperate journal away from LiveJournal.

Currently I'm taking 100 mg once a week.
Things I'm noticing
-My voice is dropping a bit
-I'm hungry and horny like "Whoa"
-My dick is growing
-I'm growing a tiny bit of facial hair
-My jawline looks a bit different...fat in my face redistributing
-Mentally I feel really scattered
-Things are more visually appealing...

I'm not too sure if these last two have anything to do with the T...but it feels like they are.

Here are a few one month pictures...

Thursday, June 01, 2006

First entry....

Welcome to my transition journal.

I began Testosterone 4-19-06 and will be chronicling my journey here.

Happy reading :)