Friday, June 16, 2006

Bleeding...or not

I'm getting close to being on T for two months. I have been feeling strange....I can't really explain the feelings. My emotions are up and body is too hot or too cold...i'm really tired or bouncing off the walls. I feel more all over the place now than I did when I first started.

I wonder if this time it has to do with the fact that I got my shot yesterday and was supposed to start my period yesterday. I've only bleed one since starting T. I've had some cramping though. I think I am done bleeding. I hope so. I was dreading it...and it feels like I am finally feeling at home in my body. I feel happy to celebrate something that I feel like was not right for my body--ending.

I used to try to not associate bleeding with a pretend to myself that this happened to my body, but not becuase I was a particular gender..or..had a certain type of body. It was just something that happened to me and only me. I feel like I lived a lot of my life that knoll and as knoll as the execption to the rule.

I think some of these issues play into some of my anxieties about actaully passing....

more to come on that and a 2 moth update soon.

Much love..


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