Thursday, March 06, 2008

Love (minus DDD's)

I noticed Carrie smiling and chatting online, so I asked what she was giggling about. She explained to me how much physically and emotionally closer she feels to me after going through this whole surgery experience. She also said that she keeps doing double takes when she sees me, since my appearance and her mental images of me still hasn't caught up to the reality of the top surgery.

She talked about how she has already noticed improvements in my confidence and moods---just being more relaxed and more open and present. I know it seems crazy, but it's so true. Thy physical closeness is so amazing. After she helped me take a shower for the first time last night, she was sitting at the end of the bed and I was standing and wrapped my arms around her. It felt so different. All these barriers of self discomfort were felt so natural, like it had always been that way.

All this physical closeness has also made us feel emotioanlly closer...just more in love..or somehow falling in love all over again. She is so wonderful and has done so much these past two years to support me. As I like to explain to people she's never loved me despite of who I am but becuase of it---I wouldn't have it any other way.

*happy sigh*

PS. I also told Carrie about talking to Anna and her saying I better buy her a ring soon. To which Carrie responded "I need to talk to Anna more often!" LOL

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